Living with Equanimity

 Last month, my husband, decided that he was going to go to the Burning Man festival. This was his first time going there, and having not experienced such an event myself, I went through my own phases of first denial, then anxiety upon reading a lot about this event and watching umpteen number of videos. Ultimately, despite being worried about his health and well being while he is out there, I accepted that if he does want to do it, I want to rather support him in his choice than to fight him or try to persuade him to not go. 

I helped ensure he got all that he will need while he is there, and prayed time and again for his wellness and safety while he is there. He was gone for almost 15 days, and I had to manage my office work, kids classes, back to school nights, chauffeuring to extracurriculars, homework helps, cooking, house chores, and my own community engagements, keynote and speaking commitments all by myself during these 2 long weeks. And doing all that while being super anxious about the well being of my husband who was in a desert with no connectivity to call and check on each other. During this challenging time, I went through a lot of anxiety at the beginning,  had headaches for first 3-4 days despite taking advils, etc. 

Then I asked myself what am I doing? 

I decided that I am not going to kill myself like this. I got back to my exercise routine to get a dose of my happiness chemicals (endorphins). I looked around myself and all the blessings I have, a nice home to shelter in, good food and means to live a happy life, beautiful family and friends, and The Almighty, the Caretaker, who ultimately takes care of us even when in the moment we may not realize that. This realization filled me up with gratitude. I started living each moment as it came to me. Whatever I needed to do in that moment I did, and I neither got angry if something didn't go my way, nor I gave up on any of the commitments I had. I just did them all when the time came for them. I did not question myself (the "self talks") on whether I can do it or not, whether I am well prepared or not. When I needed to practice I practiced, and when I needed to show up, I exactly did that! I showed up! 

I showed up for all my commitments and gave my best to that moment doing whatever I was required to do.  Not only that, I even showed up for the new opportunities that came my way during that time. I didn't hesitate because I had too much on my plate or I was tired. I opened up to greet them and make the best of the moment while I was there.

In those 10 days, while practicing living in the moment, I realized that that is exactly the purpose of life! 

The purpose of life is "To live".  To live every moment as it came to you, any opportunity to show up, you show up and give your best. And when you feel like resting and relaxing you do exactly that. Take moments to cherish your blessings, and be grateful for them. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. And when we are kind and not judging ourself, we are better able to extend that kindness to others and "let them live" too.

Living in the moment felt most powerful to me so I wanted to share this with you all. Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on living in equanimity as I will be experimenting more on this and will also follow back in future posts.